Christ-Like Love for Children

I was asked to speak at our Valentine's Relief Society activity last week, and man, that was intimidating! I am one of the youngest adults in the ward, so speaking to a bunch of women older than me was a bit of a scary prospect. I pulled it off with minimal crying and a few compliments afterwards, so I guess it was a success.  :)
Anyways, my topic was about Christ-Like love for children. Of course these topics are usually given to those who need it the most, so this is mostly a pep-talk to myself. Here are my notes.

I was asked to speak about showing Christ-like love for children.  

What is Christ-like love?  
Pure, unconditional love... with loads of patience.
How do we show pure, unconditional love (and patience) towards children?
By serving them, and seeing them for who we really are; spirit sisters and brothers.

So that’s what I’m going to talk about today.  Serving our children, and seeing them for who they really are.  

Let’s start with a little review of life before we came to Earth.  

We are taught that before this life we were all spirits, living with God, our Father.  Elder James E Talmage wrote in Jesus, The Christ, that “the spirits of men existed as individual intelligences, of varying degrees of ability and power, prior to the inauguration of the mortal state upon this earth”  This truth was also taught to Abraham.  He records in Abraham 3:22, “Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all these there were many of the noble and great ones;”

Seeing our children for whom they really are starts with understanding where we came from and whom WE ourselves are; children of God.  

Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “Every human being is a spirit child of God and lived with Heavenly Father before coming to earth. He entrusts his spirit children to earthly parents, who provide a mortal body for them through the miracle of physical birth, and gives to parents the sacred opportunity and responsibility to love, protect, teach, and to bring them up in light and truth so they may one day, through the atonement and resurrection of Jesus Christ, return to our Father’s presence”

VIDEO: I AM A CHILD OF GOD

In the premortal life I was not Keira’s mom.  I was her sister.  And even though I take on the role of her mother in this life, it is a temporary role.  
President Gordon B. Hinckley, counseled: “Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones. Now, love them, take care of them.”

Understanding this point has put my role as a mother in a new light.  When I see my children as not only my charge, but also my brothers and sisters it helps me love them in a different way.  I see them as Christ sees them; as my equals on this mortal journey.  And I see my job as their caretaker in a different light.  

Let me use the analogy of a diplomatic mission to represent this life and our roles as parents in it.  Coming to earth is like going to a foreign land on a mission for the government.  When it’s needed, the government sends out ambassadors to other lands to set up embassies.  The purpose of an ambassador is to act as a personal representative to the government and aid it’s fellow citizens.  As an officer of the foreign service, an ambassador is expected to protect the citizens of his home country in the host country and to promote peace.  

Using this analogy, it is easy to see our role as parents as the King and Queen and our children as ours to rule over.  Especially when you’re not aware that there IS a King and Queen!  However, that is not the case.  The position of the King still belongs to our Father in Heaven.  HE is the ruler.  Our place as parents, lies as the ambassadors.  We’ve come to a foreign place (earth), set up embassies of our own, and as our fellow citizens come join us here it is our duty to act as an ambassador, guiding them on their journey while acting as a representative for the King.      
When I have that in mind it helps me be a better parent.  I not only treat them with more respect, but it also makes it easier for me to serve them.  When I don’t think of them as my job, but as my sisters and brothers whom I’m guiding through mortality, suddenly doing things for them takes on a different meaning.

To illustrate this point let me share with you a story that my sister wrote a few years ago.

Lost At Home
By Natalie Bates

Ten months ago I gave birth to my third child, a healthy beautiful boy. I had been frightened of the third, as mothers all around told me that three was the hardest. I was pleasantly surprised with three. Brandon would sleep most of the day and I could take care of my three-and-a-half year old Zack and his precocious two-year-old sister Abbey. I felt pretty good and thought I had three figured out. That is until Brandon hit four months.
At four months he began to spend more time awake and in need of my already-stretched attention. Life became stressful as I tried to balance the needs of my three small children, my husband and our home. Balls I had been juggling began to drop. I started feeling trapped. I loved my children tenderly and felt guilty for my feelings.
One of the hardest aspects of being a stay-at-home mom is that there is no way to measure our success or accomplishments. In school I was given a grade based on my performance. I passed tests and classes and have a degree that shows my completion. In church callings I could plan and accomplish goals. At work I would finish tasks and get a nice paycheck for my trouble. But motherhood can be a thankless task: the dishes don't stay clean, the laundry doesn't stay folded, the kids don't stay fed and the diapers always need to be changed. My life was a revolving door of duties that could never be accomplished, achieved or completed.
What I call "white knuckle" moments became part of the daily routine. For example, after a long day of taking care of children, the house was a disaster. I would be cooking dinner holding a crying baby, kids were fighting for my attention and I would burn my mediocre meal. It was all I could do not to lose it. After a long hard day I had nothing to show.
I came to the realization that I was lost at home. For the first time in my life I was experiencing depression. I couldn't understand why I was feeling this way. I knew I was doing the right thing. I loved being a mother. I knew motherhood was one of the most sacred and fulfilling callings. So why was I depressed? I cried to my sweet husband and told him I was failing. He held me and tried to reassure me.
I decided to take action against these feelings. I started a new schedule packed with variety and efficiency. I started reading my scriptures daily, exercising regularly and cleaning my house on a schedule that could be marked off to measure my progress. I also started a playgroup with other mothers of young children, as well as a monthly book club. I was determined to beat these feelings.
I focused on enjoying my children. We laughed through tickle fights and cuddled in scary movies. Getting out helped and I enjoyed the richness of my new hobbies. My home was cleaner and my life in order. I thought I found the secret to fulfillment at home. I couldn't believe it when the "white knuckle" moments and the depression continued. My life was in order. I had balance. I fulfilled my calling, read my scriptures and supported my husband. I was supposed to have the spirit and never feel like crying, but I did. I took it to the Lord and pleaded with him to fix me. I asked him to take away my feelings. But he didn't. I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong or how I could possibly do more.
Finally my answer came one cold winter morning as I was getting my children out of the bath. I wrapped them tightly in their warm towels and settled them on the couch. I found the lotion and knelt down and began rubbing their feet. As I did I had an impression. I remembered the Savior washing his disciples feet. I looked up into those innocent faces and tears stained my cheeks as I realized that they were teaching me to be more like Him. My service to my children was refining me. It was working on my imperfections and stretching me. They were and are molding me into more than I could become on my own.
Of course Heavenly Father wasn't going to take away my struggles, that's why I'm here on this Earth, to become more like him. Although my children may never remember the stories I've read, the clothes I've washed or the meals I've made, they will remember that their mother loves them as the savior loves them.
I still have white knuckle moments but I am no longer lost at home.

One of the many blessings of being in charge of other spirits is the many opportunities given to us to serve them and to better comprehend the Savior’s love for us.  

I bear testimony that we are all brothers and sisters.  You were there beside me as we shouted for joy at our Father’s plan.  I’m sure I knew and stood by my own children as they too shouted for joy.  They were probably my best friends.  It is my goal to try and remember that on a daily basis, and treat them accordingly.  As I do that and try to serve them, rather than thinking of them as inconveniencing me, I feel a deeper love for them.