My perspective on trials.

Do you ever feel prompted to do something, deny the feeling only to have it come back again, put it off, and then can't sleep because you're feeling prompted again? That's what's happening right now. I felt prompted to share something on my blog months ago, but I decided not to, to avoid sounding preachy. Then I felt prompted again and said I'd do it, but put it off. Here I am, though, at 1 am (I am not usually awake this late since I have early morning risers to take care of!) and I can't sleep thinking about that first prompting. So here I go. I'm biting the bullet and doing as I'm told. I don't know how accurate my perspective is, but it struck me as true and helps me in my life, so I hope it may help someone else see things as clearly as I do now. So without further adieu here are my thoughts on trials. I wrote this down in my journal after the first prompting and so it kind of reads like a talk... but to myself. hehe I guess I give myself pep-talks. :P


MY PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS
"When we can see this life as a test, we can see our life more clearly."
- Dennis E. Simmons, of the Seventy

A few years ago when I was in college I had an epiphany of sorts about life and the trials that we face. For a moment in time this life seemed very clear to me and I knew exactly what was to be done with the challenges I came across. You see, this life is all a test, but what's the point of the test? It is to become like our Heavenly Father; to become perfect. How do we do that with all of our natural tendencies to do wrong? Well, each of us have our own strengths and weaknesses, and something that is hard for me may be easier for someone else, and vice-versa. But to be perfected we need to turn our weaknesses into strengths. That is where trials come into play.

I like a quote from the movie Evan Almighty. A woman is talking to God and doesn't know it's Him (to make a long explanation short). He tells her, "Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does He give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does He give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for their family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does He give them opportunities to love each other?"

God gives us opportunities (trials) to become better people, and more like Him. A weakness that you have is going to keep being pushed and be a thorn in your life until it becomes a strength. If every time a trial comes up to push that weakness and we just "grin and bear it" we will either become bitter from the pain we had to "endure", slowly progress, or stay the same (ie, not progress). It's like a strong wind pushing against you. If you "grin and bear it" you will either stay where you are or move backwards. However, if you decide to face that strong wind (trial) head on, you will make good ground and become stronger and make progress. So that's the way I see trials. The point of this life is to turn weaknesses into strengths, so when faced with a trial if we come at it from the perspective that we need to grow from that experience, not only will we be enduring it well, but we will be learning so much and that trial won't seem as hard. I also think that we are going to keep having trials related to our weaknesses until they become strengths, so if we hurry up and turn those weaknesses into strengths we won't have as many trials in that area of our life (or rather they won't seem like trials anymore). Afterall, there's no need to test a master is there? Maybe there is every once in awhile to keep them strong.

And thus we see how living a righteous life and following the commandments can bless us! Maybe the righteous have less trials because there are less things to be tested on. From an academic perspective it would be like a math major taking the same test as a 7th grader. Although it's called a "test" for both, for the college graduate it would be like a review or a questionnaire to fill out in their sleep, while the 7th grader is sweating bullets and thinks it's an incredibly hard test! It's not that their teacher (God) favors one student over the other and doesn't mind seeing the 7th grader struggle. It's just that the graduate, when faced with that same test years ago learned something from that test, grew stronger in that knowledge, and moved on to other tests of his abilities.

An example of a trial from my life and the lesson I learned in finding happiness in any circumstances.
When Richard and I were newlyweds and first encountered money issues I would completely stress out and have anxiety attacks. (Little did I know it would get much, much worse!) I would get so down and unhappy worrying about finances, but luckily we never let our relationship take a beating from those stresses. As time went on (and we added people to our family without a degree to pay for them) things got worse and worse. As they did I was wondering why we had to go through such hard trials that seemed so worldly and something that didn't seem to apply to our eternal lives. Some time during our climb down to rock bottom I realized that the purpose was probably a test of character and loyalty. A test to find happiness in all circumstances, a test for our relationship with each other, and a test in our loyalty to God and our faith to see if we would turn bitter and hateful in hard times. Once I saw that goal it was clear to me what I had to do during those hard financial times. I stopped stressing as much, found more joy in life, and can honestly say that I am a stronger person now because of those trials. I learned from them and grew! We also learned to handle our finances more carefully. Times didn't get easier right away (we were probably half way down the hill) but the hardest times emotionally and spiritually were before I came to that understanding, and not when we hit rock bottom. I still cried and pleaded for help, but we were FAR better off then before. Had I not chosen to take on that trial head on I may have either gone into denial of our financial situation, or become bitter and angry, or both. We are now far from being well off financially (Richard still has 2 yrs of school left), but we have grown in such ways that we have learned how to be truly, immensely happy whether things are going well or things are hard. Of course, practice makes perfect and I foresee many many trials ahead of us to test that lesson that was learned. ;)

So, that's my little epiphany I had a few years ago and how it helps me today. I don't remember it often enough, but I really should. I think it's very important to keep in mind! We should always be striving to move forward and progress on our journey here on Earth! I'll end this with a few more applicable quotes. The latter one is my all-time favorite!

"The test of challenges isn't to prove that we can endure; it's to prove we can endure well."
- Henry B. Eyring

"Hard moments are conflicts between doing the right thing and the easier thing. They are the key tests, the defining moments of life - and how we handle them can literally shape our lives forever!"
- Henry Beecher

I hope that made sense and I didn't ramble to much. I just wanted to conclude those thoughts with my testimony that I know even through our hardest trials the Lord is there with his arms stretched out to comfort us! I know that Heavenly Father is a loving God who allows things to happen to us for our own benefit. I know that He loves and cares for me (and all of us), as I have felt His arms around me and known with a surety that He is there and loves me, and I have felt this many many times in my life!

And now... I'm off to bed!!!!